If I am to be truthful, my visions for how to be a great mom are split between two worlds. I’m a scientist by training, with all of the drive of a strong, independent and fiercely feminist woman. And, in contrast, I’ve been raised by a family where every woman has stayed at home (for at least the first five years) to raise children (and preserve jam, and grow a garden and sew clothes).
So, this article in The Virginia Quarterly Review has had me thinking about the pressures I’m feeling. I’m a mom, but I’ve only been a mom for a very short period of time. And while I identify as a mother, its not my primary identity. I’m much more accustomed to identifying as a scientist or a friend or a partner or a woman.
Admittedly, I seek out the blogs that portray those super-moms… you know – the blogs that describe how their children are homeschooled by both parents, playing with beautiful home-made toys, in fabulously unique home-made clothes. I find that lifestyle aesthetically pleasing and familiar. And yet, its unattainable (for me). As someone who adores my profession, I’m not currently interested in creating a home-based business, nor am I particularly interested in investing every hour of my day to educating and clothing my child.
In contrast, I also follow blogs that are all science all the time. These folks live and breathe science. This too is currently unattainable (for me). As someone who adores my family, I am simply not interested in devoting my every waking moment to my faculty position.
Rather, I like the possibility of living in the middle of these two worlds. And to have a goal of living in that middle space, rather than the apologetic outsider of either world. And so here, in this blog, we create a new standard. A place where we focus on mothers as people, on children as self-stimulators being raised in a community, and the creation of our own work-family policy.